Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of "Appeal"?

A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes




A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.


Q: What's the difference between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know they're boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.

2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."

3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone."

And finally:

You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes.

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A advocate affiliated a woman who had ahead afar ten husbands.

On their bells night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been affiliated ten times?"

"Well, Bedmate #1 was a sales representative: he kept cogent me how abundant it was activity to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never absolutely abiding how it was declared to function, but he said he'd attending into it and get aback to me.

Husband #3 was from acreage services: he said aggregate arrested out diagnostically but he aloof couldn't get the arrangement up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: alike admitting he knew he had the order, he didn't apperceive back he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he accepted the basal action but capital three years to research, implement, and architecture a new advanced method.

Husband #6 was from accounts and administration: he anticipation he knew how, but he wasn't abiding whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never abiding how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he anytime did was allocution about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was attending at it.

Husband #10 was a brand collector: all he anytime did was... God! I absence him! But now that I've affiliated you, I'm absolutely excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I apperceive I'm gonna get screwed!"

We seen some creative computers but this is weird. I never seen CPU of whiskey bottle. What about you guys...

Source : Foolzfun (More 12 Pictures)

Source :Cool Funny Tradition

Style of break up

Style of break up:
Boy bought gift for His Girl friend-
GF:Wat the hell would I do with this rocket?
Boy: U wanted stars na?
Now sit on it and GET LOST:p

Stop looking at girls

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