Joey, daring the spotlights that were scanning the warehouse in which he was holed up, took a quick look out the window at the crowd below, and shouted, "Never, you dirty, rotten bill collectors!" Then he ducked back to the haven beneath the sill.

He recently got more into debt than usual – in fact, he found himself surrounded by it – and he was having a restless dream about the multitude of bill collectors who were haunting his mind. Being an old movie buff with smiling memories of Jimmy Cagney, his brain had somehow cast him in a role familiar to all who feel a similar attachment to the Cagney legacy. His black suit was dusty, his white shirt was open, and he had a bottle of whisky beside him, from which he took an occasional reinforcement.

"Joey, do you hear me?" the Verizon customer service rep called through a bullhorn. "This is Verizon."

"Whaddaya want?" Joey called back.

"This is a final disconnect notice."

"Already?" Joey replied, and looked down at the pile of bills scattered on the floor. He started to leaf through them nervously and found the Verizon invoice. "I have your bill right here," he yelled out the window. "It's only fifteen days overdue. Don't I get a month or two before you disconnect my service?"

"Not anymore, kid," the Verizon rep shouted back. "You got a lousy payment record."

"Yeah, so what do you want me to do about it?" Joey replied, knowing he didn't have the funds to pay the bill at the moment. He eked out a living as a freelance journalist, and he had only recently come through a period where he had not placed his usual number of articles. Thankfully, he had finally sold a piece to Travel & Leisure.

Just then one of the cops in the crowd lifted his own bullhorn, and called, "Joey, this is Officer O'Hara. Come out with your checkbook open – or else!"

"Or else what, you dirty, stinkin' copper?" Joey shouted back.

"I'll tell ya what, kid," the Verizon rep interposed. "We interrupt your outgoing service. And get this, Joey. Three days later, we interrupt your incoming calls – and that includes your DSL Internet service."

"No, no, anything but my DSL!" Joey called. "I'm a freelance magazine writer. If I can't email my articles, I'll be finished. Have a little mercy, will ya? I've been a Verizon customer for over ten years!"

"Sorry, Joey," the Verizon rep replied, "We gotta go by the rules."

At that moment, the Con Ed rep reached for the bullhorn, informing the rep from Verizon, "It's my turn. You've had your shot." Then he bellowed, "Joey, do you know who this is? Con Ed."

"What are you doin' here?" Joey asked.

"You know as well as I do. Your electric bill is in arrears."

"Arrears?" Joey replied. "I'll give you arrears!" And with that, he mooned the crowd.

"Watch it, kid," Officer O'Hara called through his bullhorn. "That's indecent exposure. You could end up in the pen."

"You think I care?" Joey shouted back. "At least, there I won't have to pay for my room and board."

Reacting to that comment, a lawyer, who had been unaccustomedly silent until now, reached for the bullhorn. "Speaking about room and board, Joey, I'm a lawyer with a message from your landlord."

"No, no, not that, too!" Joey agonized, and, in Cagneyesque style, he made two fists and rubbed his temples with them.

"You're over a month behind!" the lawyer reminded him, and held up an ominous, legal-size document. "I have the eviction notice right here."

"An eviction notice?" Joey wailed.

"Yeah," the lawyer replied. "You gotta vacate the premises!"