Ronaldo Admits He's Fat
Here is a story about a fat lump of lard. A very talented fat lump of lard but still a fat lump of lard nonetheless.
Are you sitting comfortably...then I'll begin.
Since returning to Brazil, after pies and feeble knee cartilage called time on a 14-year European career, the original Ronaldo has been enjoying his football. He’s racked up 19 goals in 25 games for Corinthians so far, bagging a league title and Brazil Cup in the process.
All this success has made him hungry (not an unfamiliar feeling) for glory on the world stage … if he could just get rid of his gut.
In an interview with Brazilian TV channel Globo, the tubby genius relayed plans for world domination next summer:
“Right now, today, I would not even call myself up [for the national team] … I am going to make a huge effort, maybe the biggest effort of my entire career. I am going to do everything I can to be there [in South Africa for WC2010] … I think it will largely depend on the first semester of 2010.
It is Corinthians’ centenary year and we are going to take part in the Brazilian championship and the Libertadores Cup… I am going to admit it." (Wait for it).....
"I am fat. Television adds 3 kilos. Here I have five cameras pointing at me. So that’s 3 kilos per camera!”
And then he melted cheese on the cameras and ate them all. The end.
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