Hats off to fans of Argentine side Rosario Central as they visited Newell’s Old Boys at the Colosso. No more of this “Hey, let’s pelt the players with rocks and garbage,” because what does that accomplish, really?

In fact, the sheer determination of Central’s fans to both enter the stadium and cause havoc is deserving of some kind of award. And jail time.

In an an effort to limit incidents, Central fans were alloted just 3500 tickets by Old Boys officials. The visitors reacted as any smart fan would. They simply photocopied someone else’s ticket and turned up thinking nothing could possibly go wrong.When the fans were denied entry they started to cause havoc, to which police responded in the manner that cops around the world absolutely live for.

They began clubbing the fake-ticket-wielding Central fans. Twenty had been hospitalized and 50 arrested when police finally got bored with the beatings.

Inside the stadium, there was a delay as Central fans took to the barbed wire separating them from the pitch. First off, shouldn’t it give someone the chance to realise that they have to be kept from players and pitch by barbed wire? If you’re a South American soccer fan, the answer is a resounding “No.”

So as to make sure their lack of self-awareness is so complete, Central fans climbed the barbed wire fence. After Central captain Sebastian Peratta pleaded with the fans to get off the fence (and after the police threatened to fire hose the lot of them) the fans relaxed their bloody grips and the game started… 20 minutes late, which is probably routine for a South American derby match.

That’s when the fun started for the away fans. First they threw insults at Old Boys keeper Sebastian Peratta. That met with limited success, so they threw a pair of sunglasses at him. Peratta played along and donned the glasses.

Next, Central fans threw a mobile phone at him. Have to admit, no matter how angry I’ve been at a sporting event it’s never occurred to me “Hey, I’m going to throw technology at that b*****d".

Finally, the away supporters just threw a knife at Peratta. Figure flares and debris have never really drawn blood, so this was only a matter of time. Although it’s also kind of stupid, in that, if you’re going to throw a knife, throw it at a position player. They can’t use their hands.

Incidentally, the match ended in a 2-2 draw.